1st post?

I couldn't believe that i'm here to blog again, not really like writing because im just too lazy to use my brain. Used to love writing alot about whatever happened in my life and my thought to express myself when i was still studying at high school, but all these can only be read by teachers whom i hate the most and be seen only in exam papers (such a problem kid). As time passes by, i started trying not to do so, it is because i find it stupid, it hurts people's feeling, and i might get myself in troubles.

My girlfriend steph, she loves writing and she always update her blog from time to time. I promised her to start blogging a week ago. In order to see her smile, i have finally registered an account here to start writing again. Of course, this will be different from what i've written to my teachers a couple years ago.

If you are close enough to me, you will find out that i'm a silly boy whose mind is full of shit, talk craps all the time and always fool around never wanna try to do anything seriously. My first blog is a very good reference.

But theres reasons why i wanted to write stupid things in my 1st blog. First is that my girlfriend--steph was forcing me to hand up a post( any post) before she sleep. Second is that, i don't really know what i should write, so i decided to bullshit and put my quote which is "im handsome" in the blog. And lastly is that, i want her to be happy. As i mentioned justnow, she loves blogging, and whenever i show her my imba pose(handsome), she will always laugh like mad, so i finally made up my mind to write an imba story as my first blog.

And now, im here again is because, i really wanted to start blogging like she does. I find it interesting, and when u cant fall sleep late at night, nobody is around, this will be the best place to express myself and fast forward my boring time.

Months ago, i always told her that i was so jealous because kc( steph's friend) could be that close to her and he was the only person that i know, she would talk to when she was down. I always wanted to see her cry. LOL, sounds like im a sohai freak but all i actually want is to get her trust, she will find me when she needs someone to talk to.

Weeks ago, i finally saw her crying. But i was not happy at all. I felt sad and depressed even though i have finally get her trust and became her boyfriend. I don't know what to do at all, i have never experienced it before( not including bully ah moi sampai tangis). After a long while, she finally stopped crying and fell asleep. I could not forget the scene when her tears dropping nonstop. I then talked to myself, i will never let this happen anymore.

Whenever i think about it, i won't be able to sleep again. She always tells me she will be fine, but i know she is lying to me again, trying to stop me from worrying about her. How could i not worry about her? She is my girlfriend, and she is at melbourne now, i can't do a thing to help her out when she is in trouble. I find myself so useless, don't know anything, can't solve problems and bla bla bla( too much to write). Hoping to go there as soon as possible, i wanted to stay with her, i wanted to hug her, kiss her and accompany her.

I hope she can be more optimistic( doesn't mean she is pessimistic), i hope she is fine now, i hope she can sleep tight everyday, i hope that her study won't be affected by shitty problems. And i love her as i always do. I love you steph