labiu

Finally im back to post... it took me almost a year to just make it alive..

I broke too many promises... a bit guilty. I hope it is not too late to do something by now. Suddenly feel like writing, they said it works for release stress or uhm... ah duno.. Let's give it a try again, maybe i'll in love with blogging.

You know, i heard a lot of stories from friends. They talked about their mistakes, the cause and effect, etc etc. They said, the more you speak, the worse problem will be. (not quite sure how to say it in english, just trying to translate from chinse)

It means that, if you keep quite, something bad may not happen and people will tend to avoid talking about it, trying to not remember it, and problem SOLVED.

Find it quite true sometimes.

I felt stupid.... im making trouble. im playing fire around a 7000km string, its already hard enough for it to stand the pressure. And yet, i still ask silly question that we, or maybe i myself only, is not worrying about.

Honestly, i've never thought of it before, and i didn't even know how it will be and how it feels like. My stupidity explained it to me today, i am so horrified even though it is not happening AT THE MOMENT. I'm still save, but it made me feel like, the chance is there and it will come like how cancer make a person's life suffering. THEY WILL COME ANYTIME


I'm now like, standing just 1 step away from hell gate.

I fear of losing her, i can't imagine how it will be without her. i love her, i really do.

If i never ask her about this, will i feel better? but i cant be selfish, causing her to hide everything from me just not to hurt my feeling.

I feel like crying in a sudden.

All these time, i thought we can handle things easily. Maybe its just me, who think that way.

Im confused... im scared... im......... lost

Please don't leave me.

I love you