I've never felt this tired in my life before. thinking that i can have some rest staying away from these fucking bastards who will never stop the fuck biting me for no reasons, who knows there's another stressful game awaiting.

where's all my luck gone. like, someone to at least help me when i'm overloaded? give and take can never be used for mankind anymore.

just a smooooooth day, a single smooth day will do. i need some rest

hmmm

wish i can do something better...

labiu

Finally im back to post... it took me almost a year to just make it alive..

I broke too many promises... a bit guilty. I hope it is not too late to do something by now. Suddenly feel like writing, they said it works for release stress or uhm... ah duno.. Let's give it a try again, maybe i'll in love with blogging.

You know, i heard a lot of stories from friends. They talked about their mistakes, the cause and effect, etc etc. They said, the more you speak, the worse problem will be. (not quite sure how to say it in english, just trying to translate from chinse)

It means that, if you keep quite, something bad may not happen and people will tend to avoid talking about it, trying to not remember it, and problem SOLVED.

Find it quite true sometimes.

I felt stupid.... im making trouble. im playing fire around a 7000km string, its already hard enough for it to stand the pressure. And yet, i still ask silly question that we, or maybe i myself only, is not worrying about.

Honestly, i've never thought of it before, and i didn't even know how it will be and how it feels like. My stupidity explained it to me today, i am so horrified even though it is not happening AT THE MOMENT. I'm still save, but it made me feel like, the chance is there and it will come like how cancer make a person's life suffering. THEY WILL COME ANYTIME


I'm now like, standing just 1 step away from hell gate.

I fear of losing her, i can't imagine how it will be without her. i love her, i really do.

If i never ask her about this, will i feel better? but i cant be selfish, causing her to hide everything from me just not to hurt my feeling.

I feel like crying in a sudden.

All these time, i thought we can handle things easily. Maybe its just me, who think that way.

Im confused... im scared... im......... lost

Please don't leave me.

I love you

wheeeeee

Woke up very early this morning, but i golek until 7 something... wanted to come to blog a bit but i saw someone's updated blog. Read it very slowly coz i wanted to know everything very clearly what she had stated in the blog...

Damn.. im so happy now... :D

u know, the first thing i did when i got off my bed was to open my picture folder, and look at every collections which i stole from someone's facebook... about 296 pictures.. LOLL
YEEEE.. im a stalker...... i miss her soo much... pai seh.. not a sicko.. hehe

Today is our 6th months... hehe.. i feel bad coz i couldnt accompany her at all.... yesterday was my first day working for her mother at pavilion.... its a tough day, although i had nothing to do.. but my heart had already gone so far up to 7000km away... kept on counting down myself like a sozai at the stall..

Darling... i love you.... thank you for all your support.. i'll find a proper job after this... bit regret for wasting time staying at home just to play games.. wasting parents money now...

i hope... theres more and more MONTHS or ANNIVERSARY for both of us....

love you....

haizz

hiii~~ i'm back!!!

been trying to teach darling how to make curve hook in dota, but it wasn't really that good... due to some problems.. maybe its because of my temper...

shes down again... awww

hopefully i can really control abit when it comes to gaming.

her new semester has just started... she scored actually very good for previous semester, but that isnt what she really wanted to get..... free riders please stay away from my darling... heheh..

will be back again soon

im back!! not gonna let this blog dead again~ hehe

It's been a while (almost 1 month LOL), i haven't been blogging here. Laziness pawned me badly recently, but don't worry, i'm gonna change. hehe. Wish me good luck, interviews are waiting for me now.

In this 1 month time, many things had happened. There were good one and bad one too. Awww.. I wish i can always have the good ones.

Lets just start with the good ones.

First of all, Gotta say good bye to my old phone. YAY! I'VE GOT MY IPhone!!! WUHAHA!! No longer needs to restart cell phone just to receive a message aymore. (Don't really wanna dump my p1i, hehe...mm seh dak. I love it so much T_T)

Second, I finally have the intention, the MOOD to look for a job. Isn't it nice? AHAHAHA... damn, i've wasted almost a year of my life being lifeless staying in front of my pc.

Third, My girlfriend can finally wakes up all by herself. WHEE!~~~ I don't have to worry too much about her anymore. I love you, darling~!!

Ohh damn! only 3 good news? My life is........
SAD!!!
LOL

Time for the bad news.... (Can we skip this? LOL!! I think it's gotta be damn long)

Starting from Jan until now, guess how much is my phone bill? I can buy another phone with that amount of money, it costs me 1.2k LOLL. But it's not gonna happen anymore, i promised my lou po zai not to call too often anymore.

And because of this bill, i have to cancel my plan. My new phone has a contract, which i need to have 100 commitment per month. SMS and International calls are excluded. SO i planned to keep my old sim card at first, because the number is nice, i don't really wanna dump it. My dad is gonna help me to pay for the 65 or 55 commitment for that simcard per month. And then, i can use that amount of money just to sms and make calls with my new sim card. But now... lol... everythings changed.

I just talked to my bro. The sim card is under his name, i've just asked him to help me cancel it, and then make it as a prepaid sim card, coz i really love the number. Then i will ask my friend to take the sim card for me and i will change it to DIGI. DARLING!! IT'S DIGIIIIIIIIIII TIME!! Hopefully it works lol.

I'm GETTING FATTER!!! This is suppose to be in the good news. But, due to my imbalanced body size, my only working pants is like it is gonna explode when i put it on. DAMN!! And i couldn't find any good pants at all. I need at least 2 or 3 more!!!! Someone tell me where i can get all these shitty working pants. URGENT

Recently, i kept having the same dreams. I wish i can always dream of my girlfriend, but things will always happen very differently. I dreamt that i got bitten by dogs. The stories are almost the same, same dogs? same shit? and the weirdest thing is the way i react while i got bitten. I could feel the pain, but i was acting like i couldn't feel anything. Its like, im waiting for the dog to bite my body off part by part. Damn, whenever i dreamt about this again, i feel damn uncomfortable after waking up. I really wanna know the meaning of that dream.

Besides this, i always quarrel with some of my (big and complicated family) family members in the dream too. Luckily it's not with my own family members but cousins or uncles lol.. Still, I hope all these craps will not come true. Please don't!!

Happy 2 Months Anniversary~~

Whee~~ its our 2 months anniversary, Darling!!! We did it! And we're gonna make it BETTER and LONG LASTING!!

Didn't know darling and i can make it as well, but i'm happy we were still together now coz i really love her soo much. I'm not gonna let her go this time, all i want is just HER. As u all know we are in a distance relationship, a couple which cannot date and cannot see each other T_T. Thanks to the advance technology, i can see my darling almost everyday since we started dating.

Heheh~~ normally people would usually go out to celebrate. But, alaaaa!! Due to the imba distance, we have to stay home chatting and webbing each other as usual. Never Mind, i promise I'll make something better and i'll give her a surprise when she got back home in July. I hope darling will like it~ HAPPY 2 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY!! Whee~~ We're gonna have an infinity anniversary. (only she know what it is lol) I'm happy i got u, seriously!!

During the night, darling and i were discussing about the past. How we got closer to each other, things that happen at that time, and what were in our mind. We actually did that before, but not really that detail. Like we are gonna split it into different parts and enjoy them everynight before we go to bed.

In the middle of the conversation, one of my friend suddenly gave me a youtube link. Its a cs pwnage clip. He wanted me to see how people react, they way the walk and how they deal with the critical situation.

As u may know, theres alot of other clips will be showned at the right side. I've found alot of funny animal clips. Some are fainting goat. Ever heard of it before? Hhehe.. check it out when u have nothing to do. At that time, I saw an interesting topic which is "A shock in the nuts", i was like. OH GOSH, THATS GONNA HURT. that is a must see clip. So i quickly pressed it, paused it, and waited until it finished loading then only i watched it.

Because of the problem of my pc, whatever im watching, people who skype me are able to hear it as well. When i started watching this movie, i almost died because of exhaustion. I couldn't stop laughing and i kept repeating the same clip.

Then my darling heard it, she yelled: "Baby!! what's wrong, why are you laughing like that". She was blogging at that time. Felt sorry interrupting her but i really cannot TAHAN at all. I quickly shared the topic and asked my darling to find the topic at youtube (aussie and msia, youtube links are different -_-).

The story is like this.

There were 4 pigs in the field, 2 busy eating next to a spiky fence. And the other 2, was busy finding a good spot for mating. LOL!!! then, the female pig kept on rewinding while the male pig was riding behind it until the male pig's big fat ass was parking at the fence. Then, the pig was trying to move its ass again. Suddenly i heard an imba voice, the male pig was shouting damnnn loud and ran away straight.

Ended up with three other pigs were shocked and ran away, and a supposed-to-be-happy-pig ran away sadly with swollen balls.

I was like, WTF!!! hahahahhaha!!!! u guys must really watch this clip "A shock in the nuts"

Darling kept trying to stop me from watching that clip, coz of the way i laughed was so awful. HAHAHA. She cannot TAHAN. PITY-NYAA piggy